Earlier this week, I saw a posting on social media that had a bunch of drag queens (some picture were from the Olympics but not sure if they all were) with the label "Weird". And a picture - stock library picture - of 2 parents and 2 children - boy and girl - in a grassy field, with a label "Normal".
I was - as you might guess - angry but couldn't take images or respond as it disappeared quickly. So I thought I would explore it here.
Firstly, I should clarify that I am in the UK, and this was almost certainly a US-centred group. So my responses are from the UK perspective. But in the UK, we have had pantomine for decades - I have no idea how far back the tradition goes in the UK in anything like the modern form. In pantomime, the leading boy is always played by a woman, and the dame is always played by a man. Dressed in drag. And this is tranditional childrens entertainment.
The idea of men dressing as women for entertainment has a long and wide background. And this is a Europe-wide tradition, in various forms, and some aspect of this has been inherent in the theatre tradition for centuries. It is normal as entertainment, and that is what drag queens still do.
OK, that is one side. But what really struck me was the idea that a "typical nuclear family" - husband, wife, son daughter - could be considered "normal". So in the 1950/60/70 it was the promoted ideal model for family. The term is earlier than that, but not a lot, and even then, it refers to parents and their children, whatever, together. But it is only a century old as an idea.
But I was born in the early 60s and so grew up in the time when this was promoted, and yet I grew up in a household with 3 generation, up to 6 people, and far too many boys. I knew families who fitted this ideal, but also many families who were different is various ways - it was most definitely not "normal".
And historically, it has not been the normal way to be - in fact, it would be considered very wierd and abnormal for much of the history in the UK and wider in Europe. The idea of multi-generational families, of families units that include other relations, of single parent families is widespread and accepted across a lot of Europe. And wider than this narrow western concept - in other non-western cultures, the "nuclear family" is a peculiar abberation, an oddity that whould not be supported.
And let us not forget also childless couples - sufficiently common throuhgout history and throughout cultures - or unmarried people who are also far more common than we would like to admit. These are "normal" especially as they did, on occasions, find themselves on the wrong end of public opinion and the patriarchal capitalist society.
Now it is true that gay couples as such are a relatively new phenomena, because they are allowed now to be married, and adopt as a couple (or for one of a lesbian couple to have a child). In truth, these are more formalised now than they used to be. More visible. But in many cases, different, non-traditional child rearing has been common for centuries - it is normal.
And I think I want to draw attention to the setting - family day out in the outdoors. Well, in the society today, that is not "normal" - parents are so often working long hours and long weeks. Children are so driven to clubs and sports and activities - finding a chance to be all togehter and spend a day out is not "normal" - it is a treat. It is a rarity. Assuming your kids atually want to spend time outside, and not on their electronica or watching TV. I mean, the biggest chance of getting the entire family in a field together is going to a music festival, and catching that brief moment before they all go off.
Now, just before I go - how does this relate in any way to Quakers - because that is a driving context behind this blog. Well, there is a relevane. In that we have never saught to fit into the normative social structures. When people have told us "this is societies normal, do this" the response in some areas has always been "no". And this is because - or maybe because of this - we embrace the huge range of people, celebrate the diversity of humanity.
Because that is normal.
No comments:
Post a Comment